“To share or Not to share”

                                TEE TEE

Disclaimer: I was on one, when I wrote this!

“I am not sharing any type of dick” says my cousin who wishes to remain anonymous.  She was making a reference to dating a man who already has a baby mother. She believes that if you date a man who already has a child he will continually sex his child’s mother. Lately the term side chick, boyfriend number #2, and jump-off have become extremely popular.

Have we become a culture that doesn’t mind sharing significant others? Or are there not enough men so every woman can have their own? Honestly speaking I believe every woman shares a penis at one point in their life, whether they know it or not. It’s not a new event that is worthy of even a tweet or a Facebook update. It is a reality that men wander since they are hunters by nature. Women wander because we are emotional creatures who live inside our feelings. Both sexes stray for different reasons, yet expect fidelity. Why do you expect the unexpected?  Commitment, monogamy, and fidelity are forced upon us by society and media.

    Is it fair to put such restraints on relationships? Is it reasonable to demand a man or women to commit just to you? What if they get exhausted of you? What if they accidentally sex someone else; will that ruin the love you two share?  Why is cheating the number one reason people divorce, separate, and cease unions?  It’s because we believe the hype that if someone truly loves you they won’t cheat on you. This is the hype that America sells us that fuels the entertainment world.  Newspaper headlines and media go frantic over cheating spouses and breakups. It’s really fucking ridiculous that our news is not new at all! Many people cheat on their partner, who they love just because they love having sex with new people. It’s exciting and makes them feel alive. Is it wrong? Does that mean they need to be single? Not necessarily if they keep it real with their main partner and promise to practice safe sex.   

         Cheating is over rated and is not as detrimental as everyone believes. Many women are single because they can’t forgive a man who cheated on them. There are thousands of single mothers and broken families because of infidelity. Many boys are being raised without fathers because of pride and ignorance.  I am not advising you to stay with a man who uses and abuses you; but if a man slips up and is willing to do the right thing, forgive him. Things do happen and maybe there are deep issues that can be resolved. But do not give up on a good man because he cheated. The dumbest reason to leave a man is because he cheated especially if he is a good provider. The picking is pretty slim out here and another woman will pick that man up and dust him off. Some women get cheated on for ten years then find out about one situation and leave a good father, and they have been getting cheated on for years. It’s funny but the old saying what you don’t know won’t hurt you, is true. It might sound cruel but sometimes you have to turn the other cheek and suck it up. Family comes first and there are too many broken families over bullshit.

 Back in the day, many families stayed together whether or not there was infidelity. Women turned the blind eye to their partner’s indiscretions. There were not as many single moms and family use to mean something. Now women applaud themselves for being single moms like it’s a new trend. It is not cool to raise children alone, as much as you tell yourself it is, it is not the way it is supposed to be. It’s unnatural for children to be raised without fathers and women cannot lead a family as well as a good man. So the question still remains, to share or not to share?

  It all depends on who you ask the question to, I believe that when you focus on having the best relationship with your partner and truly being their friend, there will be nothing left to share with an outsider. If there is anything left to share who really cares! We as women have to learn to focus on the bigger picture. Dream your dreams and keep it pushing. If love is real then you love a person even when they don’t deserve it. If you love someone with everything you got then that’s all that matters. We must play our positions. If  you don’t know your position just ask!